ouh, God.i really dont know what is really happening to myself.
i kept hurting people tht i love the most around me.
am i tht selfish ?
why i cant be the person that always making people SMILE and HAPPY all the time ?
why cant i be the SUNSHINE ?
why i cant be THE STARS to their life ?
some1 that can always mke their life SHINING like a stars always do.
people always wants to see the stars during the night.
THAT STARS will make their night happier than ever.
especially when THE STARS shine brightly than the night before
to be truth, i really dont know what is going on with myself.mlam xd,mcm xlrat sgat,then i waited 4 MY SYG mcg.but,still no mcg.i waited,waited n waited.until i fall asleep all by myself.am i supposed to be mad at him ?
whenver my phone was buzzing,i really hope tht he was the 1 who sending the mcg.but,its dissappoint me.
then,ths morning,i receive a mcg from him.
asking bout somethng bout essays.tht was the tym i felt happier than ever.but,the mad thingy get all over it.i get mad.and, 'DELETE MESSAGE ?' cpatcpat i tkan 'YES'
hhm,a few days ago pon mcm tuh jgak.he asked me to do essays for him.
tym tuh,naseb baek dh bgon.kelam kabot i siapkan essay die tuh.but,he kept forcing myself
i get mad.for forcing me doing things tht suppose he will be doing that.
xp,i bwat jgak.
syg?sory but i got ths feelings towards you.a few days ago.am i really the one tht u love ? the one tht u will never leave ?am i ? or im just a girl tht u need 4 ur own sake ? u kept asking me to do things tht suppose u were the one tht must do.for the 1st tym,it is fine 4 me.but,when u kept asking me to do all the things.its kind of bothering myself.i know u dont know to do it.but,y cant u try to do it ? i am not the one who will answering the final question. u are.slahkan,if u try ?but,u kept forcing myself.i dont know if u know this. 'I HATE PEOPLE FORCING ME TO DO THIINGS' eventho,i can do tht thingy.but,pls,dont force me to do that.
it is not like im not gonna help you.xp,kalo dh slaloo smpai bile u nk bwt sndrik kan ? bkan unny xnak bwt,syg.i really willing to do tht.but,pls dont force me.andd,of course i was mad at you.andd i am sorry 4 be mad at you.pls,4 the next time.can u do tht on ur own ? promise,i'll help you,if u're willing to do on ur own.pls,syg stop telling people what to do.i am sure u also hate people telling u to do that and that.
then,just now.i received a mcg from him.i dh agak ape yg die ckp.
he said tht he knows tht i've been waiting for his message.but,he was feeling tired and he slept early,yesterday.
syg ? it is hard to at least sending me a mcg,just ONE MESSAGE, sayng tht we cant hve chat this night,because im not feeling well rite now.is it tht hard,syg ?
but,u want me to kept waiting,and waiting.
am i was the one to be blame of ?
can i be mad at you ?
would i ?
naahhh.its a ridiculous things to do right ?u was the one who should be mad at me.am i rite ?
I WAS BEING SELFISH ALL THE TIME.its all about myself.everything tht i was doing was bout myself.others cant be happy.unless myself only.rite ? hhm,mlam nh,u want to see me rite ?u said tht u want to talk to me on somethng?rite ?i wonder what it is ? whatver u were sayinng,im gonna take it.just let go.what u want me to hear.i'll listen to ur speak.
i am force to fake a smile and laugh everyday of my life.eventho,deep in my heart i was searching happiness inside myself.
eventho,it is fake.but,pls,accept this smile,syg
I LOVE YOU :)
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