Last night, I'd prayed that someone that I care will be right by my side when I needed. How I really wish that he was the one who'd appeared. And instead of seeing his name on my phone, I saw yours. It shocked me.
All these days, you never change. Always been busy like the old days. My stepped was wrong. I really wish that you change, when I left you. I want you to have your own time. For you to take a deep rest, and stop for a while thinking about your job. I really want you to have a time for you and your family.
Haih, bila dapat tahu you demam. I rasa marah sangat. I cant be with you. I cant take care of you. Nak marah you sebab kerja banyak sangat, worthless sebab I tahu you never listen to any of my babble. Then, nak marah sebab tak bagitahu I awal awal pun, macam tak sepatutnye jee. I meant, we're apart. You are no longer mine and I cant have the responsibility of getting worried.
Apa yang I boleh buat, is try to cheer you up. I called you. I nak berborak dengan you jugak, like what you'd wished to me before.
Yeahh, I had a wonderful conversation dengan you. We talked about everything, andd a lot! Haha, ehh ehh nooo, I yang banyak cakap. And you just saying 'hhmm' 'yeee' tuh jeee =.=
Haa, lepas tuh kena marah dengan I padan muka youu!
Bila you cakap, you nak dengar my voice I rasa macam nak lompat jee. But I tahu, that time you sakit and probably you need someone to cheer you up and probably tade orang lain, you just text dengan I. Kaann? That is so, I hide those feelings. I said to myself to not get your intention and feelings get mixed up. But, you tahu tak. Till now, I senyum sampai telinga tau, teringat your words tuhh.
Ohh ohh sorry that I a bit harsh dengan you. You cakap you suka I lembut macam tuh kann? Sorry dear.
A long time a go, I was that gentle. I talked to people around me politely. And when he left me, I change. Yeah, change to bad! I dont trust boys anymore. When boys are too polite with me, I told myself not to believe a word of what they say and throw away my feelings. I hate the new me.
Hhhmm, you suka yaa I talk politely dengan you? I try to be that one, yeahh. Tapi, I takut when I be that one I akan suka dekat you balik. I cant had those feelings anymore. Nanti I nak ada dengan you selalu, and tak nak other girls dekat dengan you.
You know, being with you is all I wished for after being left by him. But, the buziness you had tear off my wishes apart. You cant even had time for your family and I know you'll never had your time for me too. That is so, when I missed you the most I just sat and try to think other things. And sometime I get myself busy. Lama lama, I boleh. But, you know there will always the time where I lost the battle and I cried for you. I was alone.
That is so, I hide my feelings for you. You tahu tak, tahan hati kita untuk sayang orang yang kita nak sakit sangat. It hurts the most.
Tapi I tahu, it is your life. And you rasa selesa living that way. so I wont be selfish and let you be happy in your life.
And for me??I'll keep on living my life and I will search the best for me. Andd you, dont ever think of forgetting me and leave from my life, oke? You can have me, when you are in need :)
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